My Fear Rescuer

 A familiar, uneasy feeling of fear began taunting my thoughts as I sat in my chair listening to the first guest speaker at a local women's conference.  

"Oh no," I thought, "not you again, fear.  What have I gotten myself into with my attendance here?"  

The conference advertisement had piqued my interest with a schedule of testimonies from ordinary women who found healing in their deepest trials.  I could relate with the generic marketing statement and when a good friend suggested we attend together, I did not hesitate and signed up immediately. 

I really hadn't thought about what I expected to gain from the conference held at a local church.  I mainly wanted to show support to a first-time conference presenter with my attendance.  She has a wonderful, growing women's ministry and I was so happy for her courageous new conference steps.  I awaited a day filled with His guidance, His comfort, His protection, His provisions, His healing, you know, the good Godcidences stuffed inside testimonies.


As I eagerly settled in with a warm cup of coffee and my "I love me a good conference" attitude, I was unprepared to hear, right-out-of-the-gate, gut-wrenching graphic details of breast cancer diagnosis, treatments involving a thick needle with a hook on the end, and death.  Death of two close friends of the speaker (one of whom I also knew) who also started their breast cancer journey's months and years earlier than her own and the unfairness of her healing journey when her friends died.  Hard, scary, deep stuff.  And too close to home.

My head began spinning and I felt a bit nauseous.  It was just four years ago, in 2017, that I approached a similar suspicious discovery.   It has taken me years since then to recover from the fear, tests, death potential and buried uncertainty of ... will I not be so lucky if there is a next time?

I began praying quietly to myself.  "Please God, surround me with your shield of protection.  Do not allow fear to strangle me as I sit here, listening.  YOU have healed me so well with YOUR patience in my long process.  Please do not let me slip backwards in fear again."  I was trying so hard to turn off my ears to the speaker's agonizing descriptions and calm my quivering chin as I prayed.

Suddenly, my ears heard the verse she clutched tightly to during her trial.  Isaiah 41:10.  THAT'S MY VERSE!    Do not fear for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will help you, I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.   

Of all the verses of comfort and promises in the Bible, it was Our verse perfectly timed to remind me He was with me that day too as I sat with 180 sniffling conference women and my most scariest list of words.  A validating example of God's undeniable interactions not only in trials, but our daily moments too.  

I clung to Our verse hard and fast like a warm, peace-filled hug from my Father, just for me.  Oh, how I love His hugs.

For Him,





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